Rendon Dealt For Lawn Tractor

Craftman lawn tractor loaded with technology and stuff.

NORFOLK, MA -- For the first time in league history, a player has been dealt for personal property.  However, this isn't the old bucket of balls cliche.  Rendon found himself traded for the Craftsman lawn tractor (pictured).  Rumor is that the tractor is seriously loaded with a whole bunch of technology and stuff.  Full details of the trade below.

CHIN MUSIC RECEIVES:  Aforementioned Craftsman lawn tractor, LEWIS #1, CHARLIE #2, and JOEY #4

SCORGASMS RECEIVE: 2B/3B Anothony Rendon

Brantley On The Move

HOLLISTON, MA -- The Warriors have dealt breakout superstar Michael Brantley to Goin' Yard.  Brantley, was in demand and yielded two draft picks in return for the Warriors. 

WARRIORS RECEIVE:     WILL #1 and CHARLIE #5
GOIN' YARD RECEIVE:   OF Michael Brantley

A Tribute to the ALCS Champion KC Royals!

Charlie Has Multiple Scorgasms In Westborough Trade Rape

A Few Final Trades...

WAKEFIELD, MA -- A few final trades to report as the keeper deadline has passed I will release keepers when I have a free moment this afternoon.  These are both pick swaps, my favorite!  Except I can't complain, because I initiated one of them.

TRADE 1
FF RECEIVES: LISI #2, CHARLIE #16, GRANT #16
DC RECEIVES: WILL #2, TIM #11, TIM #13

TRADE 2
ONE MAN GANG (ROUSE) RECEIVES: VENO #13, CHARLIE #13
PILGRIMS RECEIVE: ROUSE #11

Strasterbation!

Owner Veno "celebrating" his latest acquisition.

PLAISTOW, NH -- Just like on that fateful day now known as "Strasmas", The Boston Pilgrims answered another booty call and acquired Stephen Strasburg from DC Dynasty.  Hopefully, Team Ownership will resurface from their bed room in time for the draft next week.

The Deal:

PILGRIMS RECEIVE: SP Stephen Strasburg, VENO #3

DYNASTY RECEIVE: CF Shin-Soo Choo, VENO #2

Westborough WildCard Chasing Tail Again

Joey Votto is totally annoyed!

WESTBOROUGH, MA -- Westborough Wilcard has traded Joe Mauer and Carlos Santana back and forth about 5 times this offseason.  Both players are completely embarrassed to be a part of this mess. 

DETAILS:

WILDCARD RECEIVES: CF Jacoby Ellsbury, C Joe Mauer, ERIC #1
DC RECEIVES: 1B Joey Votto, C Carlos Santana, ERIC #10