Flats Get Wood

Fenway Flats new ace Alex Wood.

WAKEFIELD, MA -- The Fenway Flats have started their retooling process by dealing three early round picks to Chin Music for fireballing ace Alex Wood and two other throw ins.  Flats gm was quoted as saying, "Alex once struck out 20 in a game and is the next big thing in baseball, oh wait, that's not the same Wood?"

TRADE DETAILS

FLATS RECEIVE: SP Alex Wood, DH Victor Martinez, RF Jorge Soler, GRANT #9, GRANT #10, GRANT #11

CHIN MUSIC RECEIVES: GRANT #1, ERIC #2, and TIM #3

Corey Dickerson's Falls Into Pilgrims Lap

PLAISTOW, NH --

PILGRIMS RECEIVE: OF Corey Dickerson

CHIN MUSIC RECEIVES: VENO #2 and VENO #5

Rendon Dealt For Lawn Tractor

Craftman lawn tractor loaded with technology and stuff.

NORFOLK, MA -- For the first time in league history, a player has been dealt for personal property.  However, this isn't the old bucket of balls cliche.  Rendon found himself traded for the Craftsman lawn tractor (pictured).  Rumor is that the tractor is seriously loaded with a whole bunch of technology and stuff.  Full details of the trade below.

CHIN MUSIC RECEIVES:  Aforementioned Craftsman lawn tractor, LEWIS #1, CHARLIE #2, and JOEY #4

SCORGASMS RECEIVE: 2B/3B Anothony Rendon

Brantley On The Move

HOLLISTON, MA -- The Warriors have dealt breakout superstar Michael Brantley to Goin' Yard.  Brantley, was in demand and yielded two draft picks in return for the Warriors. 

WARRIORS RECEIVE:     WILL #1 and CHARLIE #5
GOIN' YARD RECEIVE:   OF Michael Brantley

A Tribute to the ALCS Champion KC Royals!

Charlie Has Multiple Scorgasms In Westborough Trade Rape

A Few Final Trades...

WAKEFIELD, MA -- A few final trades to report as the keeper deadline has passed I will release keepers when I have a free moment this afternoon.  These are both pick swaps, my favorite!  Except I can't complain, because I initiated one of them.

TRADE 1
FF RECEIVES: LISI #2, CHARLIE #16, GRANT #16
DC RECEIVES: WILL #2, TIM #11, TIM #13

TRADE 2
ONE MAN GANG (ROUSE) RECEIVES: VENO #13, CHARLIE #13
PILGRIMS RECEIVE: ROUSE #11

Strasterbation!

Owner Veno "celebrating" his latest acquisition.

PLAISTOW, NH -- Just like on that fateful day now known as "Strasmas", The Boston Pilgrims answered another booty call and acquired Stephen Strasburg from DC Dynasty.  Hopefully, Team Ownership will resurface from their bed room in time for the draft next week.

The Deal:

PILGRIMS RECEIVE: SP Stephen Strasburg, VENO #3

DYNASTY RECEIVE: CF Shin-Soo Choo, VENO #2

Westborough WildCard Chasing Tail Again

Joey Votto is totally annoyed!

WESTBOROUGH, MA -- Westborough Wilcard has traded Joe Mauer and Carlos Santana back and forth about 5 times this offseason.  Both players are completely embarrassed to be a part of this mess. 

DETAILS:

WILDCARD RECEIVES: CF Jacoby Ellsbury, C Joe Mauer, ERIC #1
DC RECEIVES: 1B Joey Votto, C Carlos Santana, ERIC #10

TRADE SHOCKER: Bubonic Duo Splits!

VIRGINIA -- Ownership of DC Dynasty has informed league officials that the tandem of Kershaw and Strasburg, known affectionately by ownership as "The Bubonic Duo" has split citing ireconcilable differences.  DC has shipped Kershaw off to Chin Music for Chris "Crush" "Regression-Be-Damned" Davis.  Trade details are as follows:

DC RECEIVES:  1B Crush Davis, GRANT #8

CHIN MUSIC RECEIVES: SP Clayton Kershaw, LISI #3

Ellsbury Brings Fragile Body To DC

WESTBOROUGH -- The Wild card have traded C Joe Mauer and CF Jacoby Ellsbury to DC Dynasty in exchange for RF Jay Bruce and C Carlos Santana.

Rebrand Strike Two Deals!

FALMOUTH ICE ARENA -- Another burst of trade activity was tipped off be Chin Music owner as he scouted future talent for his 2024 fantasy hockey league.  As usual, Westborough Wildcard ownership continues to dominate the winter months, having his hands in multiple deals.  The biggest surprise is the continued face lift of the former Irish Labatt franchise, now being tabbed as Rouse Rebrand.  Ownership has parlayed 1 big star into depth and picks.  The classic quality for quantity debate rages on.

The Deals....

TRADE #1

CHIN MUSIC RECEIVES:  LF Justin Upton and picks (Grant #15, Leo #15 & #16)

WILCARD RECEIVES:  J. Ellsbury, E. Hosmer and picks (Will #11, Grant #11 & #14)

 TRADE #2

REBRAND RECEIVES:  OF Josh Hamilton and 1B Eric Hosmer

WILDCARD RECEIVES:  LF Matt Holliday

TRADE #3

SCORGASMS RECEIVE: 1B Paul Goldschmidt and ROUSE #8

REBRAND RECEIVES: SP Felix Hernandez, SS Jean Segura, and ERIC #5

Wildcard Continues Busy Offseason

WESTBOROUGH, MA -- The Wildcard ownership has turned Carlos Santana and Alex Gordon into Josh Hamilton, via Jose Bautista.  They also exchanged a whole bunch of picks that hurt my brain.

Details are below:

Wildcard ownership quickly shipped Bautista out of town for fear that his wife would start playing fantasy baseball too.

TRADE 1

Leo sends:  Carlos Santana, Alex Gordon, Charlie #16 and Grant #16

Eric sends:  Bautista, Charlie #10 and Eric #10

TRADE 2

Leo sends:  Bautista and Veno #15 and Charlie #15

Joey sends:  Josh Hamilton and Joey #13 & 14