Goin' Yard Comes In Like A Wrecking Ball

COWHAMPSHIRE -- Team Titus has announced a slew of trades including acquiring and dealing the once prolific vegetarian Prince Fielder in the same day.  Trades are summarazied below.

TRADE 1
GOIN YARD receives:  1B Prince Fielder and VENO #3
WESTBOROUGH receives: WILL #2

TRADE 2
GOIN YARD receives: 2B Ian Kinsler and SP Jon Lester
DC receives: 1B Prince Fielder

Flats Get Wood

Fenway Flats new ace Alex Wood.

WAKEFIELD, MA -- The Fenway Flats have started their retooling process by dealing three early round picks to Chin Music for fireballing ace Alex Wood and two other throw ins.  Flats gm was quoted as saying, "Alex once struck out 20 in a game and is the next big thing in baseball, oh wait, that's not the same Wood?"

TRADE DETAILS

FLATS RECEIVE: SP Alex Wood, DH Victor Martinez, RF Jorge Soler, GRANT #9, GRANT #10, GRANT #11

CHIN MUSIC RECEIVES: GRANT #1, ERIC #2, and TIM #3

Corey Dickerson's Falls Into Pilgrims Lap

PLAISTOW, NH --

PILGRIMS RECEIVE: OF Corey Dickerson

CHIN MUSIC RECEIVES: VENO #2 and VENO #5

Rendon Dealt For Lawn Tractor

Craftman lawn tractor loaded with technology and stuff.

NORFOLK, MA -- For the first time in league history, a player has been dealt for personal property.  However, this isn't the old bucket of balls cliche.  Rendon found himself traded for the Craftsman lawn tractor (pictured).  Rumor is that the tractor is seriously loaded with a whole bunch of technology and stuff.  Full details of the trade below.

CHIN MUSIC RECEIVES:  Aforementioned Craftsman lawn tractor, LEWIS #1, CHARLIE #2, and JOEY #4

SCORGASMS RECEIVE: 2B/3B Anothony Rendon

Brantley On The Move

HOLLISTON, MA -- The Warriors have dealt breakout superstar Michael Brantley to Goin' Yard.  Brantley, was in demand and yielded two draft picks in return for the Warriors. 

WARRIORS RECEIVE:     WILL #1 and CHARLIE #5
GOIN' YARD RECEIVE:   OF Michael Brantley

A Tribute to the ALCS Champion KC Royals!

Charlie Has Multiple Scorgasms In Westborough Trade Rape